Life According to Me: An Autobiography By Riley Colfer
by HappyUnicorn101
Summary: The middle child of the Colfer family introduces us to life with autism, the complexities of her mind and the world around her by means of a school journal entry. Introductory one-shot. Somewhat AU. WARNING: FICTIONAL RPF.


Life According to Me: An Autobiography by Riley Colfer

 **Hello, world! Long time no write! As promised, this is the first in a series of fanfics involving an original character with an autism spectrum disorder. Set in a somewhat alternate universe, this is what it would be like if there were three children in the Colfer family, in other words, if Chris had two sisters with special needs instead of one (I have read and heard Hannah's story and am deeply touched). Riley is an ORIGINAL character and only exists within the depths of my mind. This is a REAL PERSON FANFICTION, so if you have anything against such writings, please feel free to navigate away from the series as you so choose. Thank you.**

Disclaimer: This real-life Glee fanfic is based on the cast of the television series of the same name. All rights reserved to 20th Century Fox and Ryan Murphy. All real-life people and events are represented in a _fictitious_ manner. Riley and all other original characters are property of the author's imagination and may be used with prior permission. The author also wishes to clarify that ideas mentioned in this fanfiction do not in any way reflect promotion or personal opinions on individuals represented here.

Summary: The middle child of the Colfer family lets readers into the complexities of her mind and world around her by means of a school journal entry. Introductory one-shot, written in first person POV. Somewhat AU. WARNING: FICTIONAL RPF.

* * *

Riley S. Colfer, Age 22

University of California Los Angeles

Period 6

Creative Writing

Mrs. Hollander

March 6, 2016

A lot of people say that I'm "different." I wish I could be as normal as society wants me to be, but then, I wouldn't be me, which doesn't make sense. I tried being normal once, but I didn't like it…..I try to be normal too much and then I get mad and have a tantrum rage that lasts forty-five minutes to an hour, so I'll just write this as the same old Riley that everyone knows. Besides, Mrs. Hollander says we can write whatever we want today.

I live in Clovis, California with my family, a small, rather conservative part of Fresno, unlike most towns on the West Coast. My family is rather small as well. My mom, Karyn, graduated from Clovis West High School and married my daddy, Tim, who works for an electric company. She worked as an anesthesia doctor for a long time and quit to stay home with my sister and me full time. A lot of people say I have her eyes, but that's weird, because I didn't take her eyes. She has her own. My Daddy, Christopher, and I take care of my sister now since Mommy went to heaven. I miss her, but I know she's with Mr. Jesus, Pap and our old dog, Jake. Aunt Lori comes over to visit often when we're home in Clovis.

I have an older brother, Christopher, and he's my favoritest person ever-I love him to pieces, but I didn't break him. My brother was born on May 27th, 1990. He was a very talkative baby, according to the stories that Mama used to tell us before she went to heaven, and has always wanted to be a storyteller (he used to keep her up in the middle of the night telling her stories as a baby!) We write stories together a lot. He also loves acting. He plays Kurt on Glee, the TV show, and won a lot of cool prizes and stuff for it like a Golden Globe, (which is kind of weird because globes aren't gold. They're blue. And covered in water.) He didn't get stickers though, but that's okay. Now that Glee's over, he writes books. He does movies, too, and even made one of his own that we've watched together over fifty kabillion zillion times! He lives in Los Angeles with our kitty, Brian. I live there too when I'm in school, and we go home to Clovis on weekends or Christmas or Thanksgiving, and I don't throw up in the car on the way there sometimes. Oh, and there's also Cooper, the golden retriever that we rescued. He thinks he's a giant lapdog who tries to sit on Christopher, but he's too big. Sometimes he sleeps with me at night to keep me safe from the shadow people. I don't like the shadow people. They scare me. Christopher says Cooper's not allowed on my bed but Cooper just looks at him with his tongue hanging out like this...see?

Christopher-well, what can I say? "Bestest brother ever" seems like an appropriate moniker. We both help take care of our sister when she's sick, and sometimes he lets me help with ideas for his books, as long as they don't contain any bad words that I shouldn't say, like the "F- word", or the other "F-word" that I hate or the "S-word." He also gives the best hugs ever. Sometimes he'll tickle me until I pee myself or blow raspberries on my stomach until I kick him in the head. Christopher's gay, which means he likes boys the way that a mom and dad like each other. I don't judge people because they're gay. I identify as pansexual, but I don't like frying pans in that way. That means I'm attracted to everyone regardless of whether or not they like boys, or girls, or used to be a boy or a girl and now they're a girl or boy (Christopher says that's called "transgender").

My baby sister, Hannah, has a really bad form of epilepsy. Daddy says that's because the medicine doesn't work right. She has a lot of seizures-50 in an hour-and sometimes more. I don't like it when she has to go to the hospital. It's loud and scary and boring, and they make you wait forever and ever and ever. Hannah likes to ride her bike down the street with a helmet because it's the law and she also likes to swim. I like swimming too, but I'm not as good as her. I can doggy paddle, though, like Cooper. She likes it when I read to her. We both like audiobooks and the regular kinds, that way I can both see and hear what I'm reading. We also both collect Shopkins and Beanie Boos, the ones with the big eyes. I was 20 months when she was born, but me, my brother, and sister are all close at the same time.

And then there's me, Riley Sophia Colfer, but you can call me Riley (I only get called by my first two names when I'm in trouble, or on my weekly progress reports from Miss Ashley). I was born second in our family, which makes me the "middle child". But I'm both the big sister and the little sister, so I guess that's a good thing. Christopher, Hannah, and I were all born in Clovis. I was born on December 21st, 1993 at 1:35 p.m. Mom tells me that I came out butt-first and needed help breathing. I weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz., and measured 20 ¼ inches long.

I did the normal stuff that babies do. I learned to crawl, stand up, walk, and talk. I also loved Benny, my stuffed rabbit. I still keep him around for emergencies-don't tell anyone. I loved him so much that I refused to go anywhere without him. I learned to crawl, stand up, walk, and talk. But soon after Hannah was born, right after I turned two, I stopped talking. I screamed a lot, didn't look people in the eye, and wanted nothing to do with anyone besides Christopher, Mom, Dad, Hannah, and Benny, of course. I also sucked on my fingers constantly and rocked back and forth a lot. Mom and Dad took me to the doctor and they said I have something called autism. That means my brain works a little differently than most people's brains do. I had a lot of therapy. It was hard, but sometimes fun, especially when they put me in that room with the ball pit, the swings, and the trampoline. I said my first word, "Mama," when I was three-and-a-half. Daddy says that Mom cried when I said it, but I can't tell if it was a good cry or a bad cry. I also used my hands to talk for a while and would repeat what other people said before I learned to talk using my words. I'm in social skills therapy now with Miss Ashley, my therapist, on Wednesdays and Fridays every week. She teaches me stuff like how to talk, focus, and listen in a conversation, not to stand too close to people, look people in the eye, control my temper, and not to interrupt Christopher when he's busy with his next Land of Stories book coming out on July 12th, 2016. Go read my brother's book series. It's awesome. She also tells me that change is okay. I hate change. Change is bad. I have my friends from social skills group, but the people my brother works with are my friends too. My friends' names are Cameron, Jess, Katie, Emily, Andrew, and Ryan. Oh, and Melissa. She taught me the word "ratchet."

I still rock at home while I'm watching TV, like The Lion Guard or my brother's TV show. Glee is my favorite show ever in the whole wide world ever, but I also like cartoons. I love routines and like things the same, all the time. One thing that has to be the same is that I like chicken nuggets and fries, but they can't touch each other or else I get mad. And no ketchup, because ketchup is the color red. I hate red. I won't wear red either. Red is the color of blood. I hate blood. I try not to suck on my fingers too much unless I'm at home, because Aunt Lori, Daddy, Miss Ashley, and Christopher say that's okay at home. But not in public because people might stare at me. That's why Daddy bought me a chewy necklace on StimTastic for $1.99 plus shipping and handling. People stare at me and Christopher a lot, but it doesn't bother me. I don't notice it because sounds hurt my ears and lights are too bright for my eyes, so I wear sunglasses a lot, but not at home because the lights don't hurt there. I also like chicken nuggets and fries, but they can't touch or else I get mad. I said that twice.

This is my life story that I wrote because Mrs. Hollander said we can write whatever we want today.

I tore a hole in my paper with my eraser while writing this, but change is okay, like Miss Ashley tells me.

Bye.

Riley Colfer

The End.

 **Hope you enjoyed! Please read and review-you're going to fall in LOVE with Riley! :) Positive feedback only, please. Thank you.  
I will also accept prompts, so if you have any, please feel free to submit them via private messaging! :) **


End file.
